Silver Insanity

'I do not know how mislead they were. Has it occured to you that we were not meant to understand the point of view of vampires or anything else. You talk about how you are at night, do you even realize? You spoke about Epsilon like you owned him. You tossed around something that is necessary to avoiding the death of half the world, like a discarded toy. You snapped at everyone and everything. Upon waking up and being bathed in positive energy one of your first acts is to talk about "infecting" an undead with positive energy which will most likely end up torturing it, just so we can see what happens, hope we learn something and that it might give information to get out of that condition. After that you go on to say this has nothing to do with redemption and we will most likely have to kill it.

I have rarely seen eveil as bad as what you speak of so casually, even though I fight it every day. Your experiments will have small consequences of torture and possibly drving you more insane. I do not know what the larger consequences might be though i am sure they are there. This is exactly what Sorgath came to prevent.

Are you ever just happy? Negative energy does not make you not responsible for what happens at night. Have you considered trying to purge it? You really should while you have some humanity left."

Thirwin looks at Gregor. "At night, I am still me. It does not alter, it just enhances my dark side. Epsilon does owe me for bringing him back from the dead, and all I really asked was for him to wait until I could ask his help at a better time. I know how I sound at night. That's why I normally don't talk to anyone then. And correct me if I'm wrong, but I apologized to Aurora. I am an experiment. It is what I am, it is what my gods decreed. But make no mistake, I chose that. I had the option to stare into the abyss and I looked."

He takes a breath, "The artifact is indestructible, and had I not tossed it to you, I would have tried to break it. I was used by it's priest. Not just mislead, but used. I believed its lies. I am a priest of shadow; i have to hold my own against Nathrezell. If that stupid shadow was able to manipulate me, what do you think that means? Can you imagine the shame? You are a paladin. Surely being duped into violating an oath would not be so different."

His voice strengthens, "And before you judge me, understand that I am a priest of thieves. A spell that would let an assassin's dagger between the shoulder blades be as deadly to undead as to a human might not seem useful to one who fights in the light, but to one who fights in the darkness it means a lot."

"As for the long term effects, a spell that would let a vampire feel, a lich weep, a demon care seems like it would be useful to help those tainted by their blood keep control of themselves."

Epsilon speaks up; unfortunately, he makes his commentary in terms of arcane formulas and equations, which are somewhat tricky to follow. The gist of it seems to be, though, that while life does imply pain, lack of both is a far worse fate. In other words, objecting to Thirwin's plan on the basis that it is torture is silly; if you want to torture Taingrethylmune, the best way to do so would be to leave it right where it is.

" Thank you epsilon i was speaking of mental torture as well of 2 types first, imagine being able to suddenly feel remorse for every evil act at the same time as you feel hungry, thirsty and cold or hot after going so long without having to deal with those feelings that you no longer know how to deal with them. What mind could stand all that at once and not go completely mad. Thirwin you woke and apologized and seemed to feel bad about last night, at least partially, imagine that same feeling if you woke up after centuries of acting that way.

2nd, f you are giving someone some of the positive feelings of life and feeling them would be better than his current existence doing it with the plan of taking it away is no better than murder."


"Thirwin, You chose to serve the gods you serve. You chose to become an experiment instead of a man. You chose to be one of those things that goes bump in the night. Have you ever cured a child of disease and enjoyed seeing the smile on a relatives face? Have you stood agianst evil without some motive other than doing it and felt pride? Have you bedded a woman and just enjoyed the feeling? How often has someone looked at you without fear in their eyes? Just as you chose to become an experiment you can choose to be a man again. That is not a judgement. It is a fact. you are the sum of your choices and all of yours seem to have an alternative and self-serving motive. Aren't you just a little tired? "

Thirwin pauses, and starts by saying to Epsilon, "You don't owe me, I have no right to ask for consideration on what I did."

He then turns back to Gregor, "I train slaves to kill their owners. I have felt great joy in working to make sure there are consequences for such actions."

He continues, "People who don't look at me with fear, look at me with disgust. I am tainted. I chose to understand. This is the path to understand why or if the titans are needed, why the gods cannot fight among themselves, why the shadowflame cult can exist without being wiped out. This is the power to see both sides and carve a new path. If the titans are freed, a spell to allow positive and negative energy to coexist might be the only hope for the world."

"If it is torture, I will stop the experiment."

*gregor sighs and nods his head*

"Thiwin you are the example of negative and positive energy co-existing. What has it done for you? Has it occured to you that if there is another titan and it does free the others that you might be the precursor? What is the end result of the experiment that created you supposed to be? Can you be sure?

If it looks like torture I will kill it!! If it's new existence and any ability to take it away is held over tain's head I will kill him!"

Thirwin sighs, "I won't threaten him in that way. the spell is to weaken him so he doesn't kill us all."

He thinks on your questions, "It has made me hated and feared. It has given a sort of clarity. The traits that show both during the day and at night are me, the real me. I no longer see my gods as right. I can see how a second group like them would destroy the world if they met. I can walk where others cannot and I can return when the light shines."

"The goddess of magic made me as a proof of concept. The god of shadow did it to hold a soul between darkness and light. Nath.. If I asked him, he would tell me, then kill me. Perhaps I was a prototype for Aurora."

He pauses again, "There is no beacon anymore. While my gods pull me back each day, I know they are not right. Redemption is barred from me, just like it's barred from Aurora. The choice I made last night not to be controlled by my darker side is meaningless. When I die, a demon lord will take me."

" That is fatalistic. For a priest you lack faith. If any would know how to redeem you, it would be the Sun lion after he is reborn. But, you have to want it and believe in it. Everything I have said is because I believe in you enough to not believe you are nearly as damned as you think you are. I hope you start believing it too!!"

"The Sun Lion's rebirth will likely mirror my own. That would be my guess as to Nath's motivation."

He pauses... biting back the second half of what he was going to say.

"And you think you have no say in your own rebirth? You can choose to not be beyond the reach of his touch. It takes faith in the better parts of life. faith in the gods other than the shadowflame. Faith in those here and godlike that those who are not self serving will take notice of your struggle. And that faith is as much of a choice as what you chose to become. What else were you going to say?"