I'm reading

Meta is a story series inspired by a number of different places. It’s about a furry magical academy, and one student learning his place there.

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Joshua
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Re: I'm reading

Postby Joshua » Thu Jul 14, 2011 10:45 pm

Seeing as how most of the other characters are 17, and she's early to mid 30s, that's not unexpected.

Looking at the character list, only 2 characters have actual crushes on Jove. (well, 3 if you count Julius, but he's not gay.) Although yeah, a number of cast members have a "magic crush" on him.

I made a minor edit to Mark's reaction to better emphasize he's uncomfortable, not attracted.

Eseme
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Re: I'm reading

Postby Eseme » Mon Aug 08, 2011 12:54 pm

Chapter 39

Not as much going on here. I did like the fact that Jove decided on how to introduce himself.


Chapter 40


Wow, Chris has some pretty intense feelings, for having known Jove a week. That's a bit overwhelming, and Jove's reaction makes sense. I like the realization that Tan might be panicked and worried about something else - that's good. Conversations are two-way, and the fact that Tan was having a slightly different conversation than Jove is an important one. I am now worried about what will happen with Aden.


Chapter 41

Well, they're about to be up to their necks in trouble. I am concerned. I'm definitely intrigued by the Tan/Rei union, and the fact that it seems to be getting more ... functional, I guess.

Eseme
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Re: I'm reading

Postby Eseme » Mon Aug 08, 2011 12:56 pm

Also, I like the idea of tofu stir fry for those who are not Venator. That's a good little bit of world-building.

Eseme
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Re: I'm reading

Postby Eseme » Mon Aug 08, 2011 9:14 pm

Chapter 42

Yeah, this feels out of character. Jove is not one to attack. The is not that brutal or pragmatic normally, and I find it hard to believe that he would come up with such a solution outside of battle.

It was not clear that Jove was also transforming at the end. You described her transformation well, but described almost none of his. I'd add things like "Jove felt his body contorting..."

Also, why did he mess with Alden's magic? What was the point of leaving his spell stuck on? It did nothing, and comes across as needlessly cruel.

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Re: I'm reading

Postby Joshua » Mon Aug 08, 2011 9:17 pm

I wasn't happy with chapter 42. I can fix it I think. more than a normal typo fix though.

Try it again now, if you want. Jove's a bit less... evil... ^_^

Eseme
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Re: I'm reading

Postby Eseme » Tue Aug 23, 2011 10:24 pm

Jove is dramatically less evil.

Chapter 43

I definitely want to know what Chris did with the knife. I thought it made sense that Jove lost control of the Atavist "spell" that he borrowed. He's still learning. But I do want to know if that was the knife or some innate power of Chris'.

Chapter 44

I like the inquisitor's magical style - using the second pair of arms and the pen and paper. It is distinct and memorable. I am not sure quite why he tried to kill Jove, but I am not sure you can indicate that motivation as we see Jove's thoughts and not anyone else's.


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